


The First Order Watches Rogue One

by DarthLumpy



Series: The First Order Watches Star Wars Films as a Historical Exercise [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Humor, Hux has had it with popcorn spilling on him, Kylo Ren loves Darth Vader, Mitaka is tired of being elbowed, Multi, Phasma loves the Death Star, Rogue One - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:38:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9796676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthLumpy/pseuds/DarthLumpy
Summary: It's Holo night at Starkiller Base again, and Hux is showing another informative documentary.  This time it's what we know now as, Rogue One.  Will the audience make a mess?  Will Kylo Ren behave himself?  Will anyone throw up?  Let's find out.





	1. Part 1

Hux looked over the synopsis of yet another required watching. They seemed to be a weekly event these days, but it helped keep the morale up on Starkiller Base. They would be going off into space later in the week on the Finalizer, and he wanted to get this out of the way. Apparently, the current holofilm put together for their viewing pleasure would entail the rebel insurgence that led to the destruction of the first Death Star. Having taken years to complete, it was done in by the rebellion. This particular film didn't showcase that feat, but did contain some of what went into it's first testing and the rebellion's own stealing of said plans. It had a weakness, which was later found to be the work of a traitor. The idea made Hux angry. Maybe we all could learn from this. Maybe. Popcorn would be out. He wasn't going to endure another incident with Ren spilling popcorn and butter all over his head. It would have to be ration bars and water. He could say it was mealtime, replace say the end of day meal with the ration bars saving valuable time. He wasn't really sure that Ren should even come to this presentation this time, Supreme Leader had not insisted on his presence this time, but who knows what trouble Ren would get into if he was left wandering the base without any of the rest of the higher command personal. Mitaka had requested to not be seated next to Ren, and Hux put it under consideration, but then forgot, well not forgot, more like disregarded his request. 

“Attention. Settle down, please. I said settle down! Here we are again looking at another piece of history. This particular footage takes place mainly during the testing period of the completed Death Star. I know Phasma in particular will be pleased, as she herself was interested in those particular weapons and their use.” Phasma does a little raising and tightening of the fist in the front row. “As you remember from last time, popcorn seems to be a bit of a struggle for some of you.” He looks towards Ren “So this time, as to not deny you your sustenance, will will be providing ration bars and water to everyone watching. Again, make sure you clean up after yourself. Note some of the vicious acts of terrorism done by the rebel alliance and also many of the traitorous activities done by members who were not loyal to the Empire, yet should have been. May we spit on their memories forever. Ren, you will be pleased to know that Darth Vader in his full glory was promised to also be in this holo, and I am sure you will appreciate that. At least the synopsis said there would be. Without further waiting, I give you the story of the traitors of Rogue One.”

“What planet is that?” Someone asked in the back.

“Well, that's an Imperial Shuttle. Not much different from the ones we use. Just a bit older.” A pilot said in the back.

“Who is this youngling? A girl? What year is this?” An officer said in the back.

“The beginning is a couple of years after the beginnings of the Empire, apparently, a bit of a flashback.” Hux answered.

“That man in the screen is Saw Gerrera, known terrorist. Galen Erso was a scientist who worked on the Death Star and that is his family. You should know that most of the film takes place some years later, in the time before the Death Star was blown up.” Hux said.

“We will see the destruction of the Death Star in this film?” Phasma asked.

Ren sinks into his seat.

“No, apparently not.” Hux states.

Ren sits up relieved. 

“We will be getting that footage though at a later date, I believe.” Hux says.

Ren sinks back down again and groans.

“Would you look at this. Hugs, Hugs people. So much sentimentality.” Hux sneers.

“What is that around her neck. Not this Force stuff again?” A stormtrooper says in the back. 

Ren gets up, looks back. “Who said that?” 

The stormtroopers keep quiet.

“Who said that?” Ren asks.

“Oh Ren, sit down.” Hux says.

“There will be no disrespect of the Force. Do you understand? If I hear it again, I will show you the Force!” then Ren sits down.

“Cowardly child. She is running to hide. Pitiful.” Hux says. “This is Orson Krennic.”

“Just what is this fool woman doing?” Phasma says. “Just leave her child alone? Horrible mother.” Phasma says.

“Well, it's not like he didn't offer her a chance. She could have had a good life. What was her problem. Now her child is out there as an orphan, instead of having a comfortable life in the Empire. Sad.” Hux states. “So very sad. Maybe would have gotten an education that would rival Ren's New Republic education.”

Kylo Ren turns toward Hux, looking menacingly with his mask and tilt of the head.

“And now she has to live with that terrorist, when she could have been set up with a nice life.” Phasma says.

“This looks like a rebel scum spy.” Hux says. 

“Oh so this is how the rebels found out about the Death Star! Hopefully some things will make sense. Do you believe the resistance knows about Starkiller Base?” Phasma asks.

“Not possible.” Hux says.

“This spy is really good. Don't leave a man with information. I have a great respect for him.” Ren says.

“The stormtroopers though, who is their captain? They are so inept. I am starting to believe the stormtroopers may be one of the main reasons the Empire collapsed.” Phasma stated.

“This must be the Imperial traitor pilot. What is that thing with the tubes saying.” Hux says.

“Hux, you have no respect for languages.” Ren says.

“I suppose you know what that alien is saying.” Hux says.

“Maybe I do. Maybe I do.” Ren says.

“What? Do you get it from the Force.” Hux says.

"I know a great many languages, it is of no concern to you.” Ren says.

“I suppose it's all a part of your superior education to mine. I swear one day, Ren, I bet I find out you actually come from some alley scum.” Hux says.

“Well, at least I'm not the bastard child of an Imperial bureaucrat and whatever he decided to lay with.” Ren says.

“I will not have you talk about my father that way, Ren. The First Order owes a lot to him. I lost my mother very young, it still...” Hux starts to lose composure for just a second before he brings himself to his normal stoic manner.

“At least my parents were married to each other.” Ren says.

“And whoever they were they ditched you with that Jedi, Ren. I'm really not surprised. I can barely put up with you.” Hux stated.

“Sirs, please, I'm trying to watch the holofilm.” Phasma says shaking her head and putting them in her armored hands. 

Ren throws ration bars at Hux.

“Ah, a prison camp.” Phasma notes.

“Yes, the glorious Empire had many of them. They were highly effective.” Hux says.

“Oh here we are back to the ineffective Imperial stormtroopers. No wonder the Empire didn't survive.” Ren says then he laughs “Congratulations, you are being rescued! That's rich!”

“Oh you like the droid? Did we ever find a droid for Ren? Anyone?” Hux says.

“I don't need a droid.” Ren growls. “He's just amusing.”

“Rebel headquarters. If the Empire only knew where they were hidden, well it turns out they did, but it became too late. Oh this is the youngling grown up. Now, I get why they showed her running.” Phasma states.

“Is that who I think it is? The former New Republic chancellor?” Hux asks

“Yes, Mon Mothma.” Ren says.

“It figures you would know, with your New Republic education.” Hux sneers. 

“This general, he isn't a great interrogator.” Ren says.

“Well, I am sure no one in the rebellion had your special gifts.” Hux says.

“Is that a compliment, Hux? Are you complementing me?” Ren says.

“Certainly not. Just drop it, Ren.” Hux says.

“Even these terrorists think Saw Gerrera is a terrorist. That's tells you something.” Phasma says. “He must be really bad if the terrorists think he is extreme.” 

“Just keep watching, Phasma.” Hux says.

“So that Erso man is a traitor as well. Fascinating. How was it that the Empire couldn't find them and just exterminate them?” Phasma asks. 

“I think you are really into this story, Phasma, perhaps we should put you on spy detail. You seem to be fascinated with it.” Hux says. 

“I have many talents, Hux, I can be of service to the First Order in various ways. Oh, that's the Senator from the other film, the one where they made the clones.” Phasma says. 

“Bail Organa, Viceroy of Alderaan” Kylo Ren says.

“Oh, now this makes sense. He was a traitor as well. Well, they took care of him and his planet. It's a shame they never got that Mon Mothma as well. I know they tried many times. Even after the rebel scum took charge.” Hux said.

Ren certainly wasn't going to mention he had met her many times.

“And he's a reprogrammed Imperial droid. Those rebel scum are always stealing Imperial property. Disgusting.” Hux said.

“No nonsense. 'You find him, you kill him then and there'” Phasma says.

“HA! The droid is jealous.” Ren says.

“Oh you like this droid as well do you, Ren?” Hux said.

“I don't know this droid, Hux. Um, I mean, well, he's funny. Come on, no sense of humor, Hux. Really.” Kylo Ren says.

“It's hard to tell if you have one with that helmet, Ren” Says Hux.

“Gerrara seems insane.” Phasma states.

“This traitor can't wait to spill his intel. I hope they kill him.” Hux says.

“Bor gullet? Hmmmm... I wonder if it would work better for the First Order than Ren in pulling out information from prisoners.” Hux notes.

Ren turns his head towards his direction.

“There it is! The Death Star!!” Phasma says with as much glee as Phasma can convey.

“The great Grand Moff Tarkin.” Hux says awe.

“It really looks magnificent, Sir.” Phasma says.

“Yes, yes indeed.” Hux says. 

“Kyber crystals? In that place? Why?” Phasma asks.

“Not anymore.” Says Kylo Ren.

“How would you know, Ren?” Hux asks

“I just know, Hux.” He says almost with a spitting tone.

“A droid that seems to have feelings.” Phasma says.

“Oh you want a droid as well, Phasma?” Hux says.

“This Saw fellow isn't messing around!” laughs some officers in the back.

“I wonder how effective it is.” says Hux.

“Hope. Ha. Built on hope. How pathetic.” Phasma says with a laugh. “Stormtroopers pay attention. Don't behave like these troopers. They are inept fools.” 

“Must be the Temple of the Whills. I have heard of this place.” Kylo Ren says.

“The what?” asks Mitaka.

“Oh, nevermind.” then Kylo Ren elbows Mitaka. 

“I shouldn't have said anything.” Mitaka says.

Kylo Ren turns his head at Mitaka and does nothing.

“He knows she has that necklace? He's blind? How?” Hux asks

Kylo Ren sighs. “The Force, Hux. You can be so daft.” 

Hux rolls his eyes and clenches his fist.

“See, if you just waited, it would all be explained to you, HUX.” Kylo Ren said. 

“Snipers and insurgents everyone, surrounding the stormtroopers. Always know your surroundings. Pay attention.” Captain Phasma calls out to her stormtroopers in the back. “Can they actually hit anything? I don't see many bodies, except for stormtroopers.”

“They are aiming at them, at close range, but they don't get hit!! What is it with these stormtroopers!” Hux asks. “This droid needs a mind wipe. Too independent. Well at least they got captured and the droid will get the much needed mind wipe. Good work, Imperial troops.” Hux remarks.

“Now, this blind man is amazing. Great grasp of the Force, not a Jedi, see how he uses that stick.” Kylo Ren leans in with his chin in his hands as he takes it in. “Chirrut took all of those stormtroopers with such ease. Stormtroopers, any stormtroopers...” He looks towards the back then looks forward again “Are no match for a trained Force user.” 

Captain Phasma groans and looks on.

“He has that stormtrooper shooting his own comrade, and he keeps doing it.” Captain Phasma says almost in horror.

“Two men, that whole squad. Incompetence.” Hux exclaims. “Oh it's tube man again.”

Kylo Ren laughs. “He's blind and they put a hood on him! He's blind! The fools.” 

“I think you are enjoying this holofilm, Ren.” Hux said.

“So far, at least. You promised me Darth Vader though. I haven't seen him.” Kylo Ren said.

Hux sits nervously, hoping that Vader does indeed show up at some point. He doesn't want to do repairs when Ren gets in one of his moods.

“That star destroyer is so small. It's almost cute. A baby star destroyer.” One of the officers in the back remarks. 

His seatmates go “Awwwww” in mocking him.

“Twi'lek dancer.” some stormtroopers in the back give each other a high five. 

“Calm yourselves!” Captain Phasma says in a stern tone.

“Why does that man keep chanting?” Hux asks.

“Opening the door with praying?” Phasma asks.

“The Force. You have no faith. The Force is more powerful than any of you can imagine.” says Kylo Ren annoyed. 

“This Gerrara is a mess, there is barely anything left of him.” Mitaka states.

Kylo Ren elbows him and he flinches. 

“He dumped her. Is that like how your parents dumped you with that Jedi Skywalker, Ren?” Hux said.

Kylo turns his head towards him, picks up about ten ration bars and a glass of water using the Force, and then proceeds to dump it on Hux's head. Hux with great dignity, takes out a cloth from his pocket, wipes his face and sneers.

“He thinks she is there to kill him? He has a whole army of misfits there and he's worried about a little girl? He must be insane.” Captain Phasma notes. “Ahhh the beautiful Death Star. It's glorious!”

“See how much more advanced that technology was compared to what the rebel alliance was using. It's truly amazing. It's not as great as our technology is now, but in comparsion to what those terrorists were using? It was state of the art.” Hux remarks.

“Looks like the spy found his Imperial pilot.” Ren remarks. “That beast must have done a number on him. If I interrogate someone, they at least are coherent, that is if I want them to be, Hux.”

“Aw, Daddy loves her. Traitor.” Hux says. “and a liar. This man is the reason the Death Star blew up, and that terrorist Jedi Skywalker.” 

Some officers in the back start crying. “It's so touching.” one says.

“Control yourselves.” Hux says.

“He just gave her all the information to blow that beautiful space station up. Unbelievable” Captain Phasma says. 

“Yes, Krennic, it is beautiful!” Hux stands up then sits.

“Not very optimistic about the odds. Hilarious.” Kylo Ren laughs under his mask.

“Jyn is kind of cute.” Mitaka says, then scoots over the other side of the seat, realizing what he said. Kylo Ren does nothing. Mitaka relaxes and sits normally. 'Curious, Ren didn't elbow me.' He thought to himself.

“I must give him credit. Gerrara knew when to end. He took off his breathing device and waited for a noble death.” Hux said. 

“It's so beautiful from space.” Phasma states.

Kylo Ren clutches his fists. 

“Tarkin, a great man. Krennic usurped. He doesn't know who he was dealing with.” Hux states.

“I think Chirrut felt it. The destruction of the city.” Kylo Ren said.

“Idiot girl didn't get the holo. What a fool!” Phasma says.

“When I send a spy, I expect proof. Don't tell me what you heard, don't tell me what you saw, I want pictures. I want holos, I want evidence! That rebel spy should have killed her right there.” Hux says in anger.

“But they still need her sir, to find her father.” Mitaka says meekly.

Hux yells. “Lieutenant! Silence!” 

“Yes, Sir.” Mitaka says meekly.

“Hux, why do you have to give Mitaka such a hard time?” Kylo Ren asks.

“Me? Me? You know he specifically asked not to be seated with you! Someone get me some more water! You!” he points to an officer in the second row. “Get a few more pitchers of water in here!” 

“Can we get popcorn, Sir?” The officer asks. 

Hux starts to turn red then as loud as he can with his fists tightened and his arm straight against his body, yells ''NO!” 

The officer meekly steps out to get more water. The audience gets quiet. They watch the rain on the screen. 

Then Kylo Ren asks. “Where is Darth Vader?” 

To be continued........


	2. Part 2

“That droid is landing the ship? Maybe I don't like him.” Captain Phasma states

“Well, they crashed. I guess they are stuck. Maybe they will die.” Hux says. “Looks like they lived. Oh well.”

“Rebels look like they are going to go fetch them.” Mitaka says. 

“I don't trust the Captain. He is up to something.” Kylo Ren says. “Stick man believes him though, might have to trust stick man.”

“Whose side are you on, Ren?” Hux asks.

Ren pauses. “Well the Empire, of course, but you get tied up in the characters. Just watch the movie, Hux.” He says with a spit.

“Chirrut is very confident his friend will follow him. They have an interesting bond. Never apart.” Captain Phasma mentions.

“Yes, I have known people like that myself.” Kylo Ren says.

“The Force, Ren?” Hux says

“Not just the Force, there was this Wookiee...Oh nevermind.” Kylo Ren says. “Watch the movie, Hux!”

“Oh there's her Dad.” an officer says in the back.

“Death, come on death.” A stormtrooper says in the back.

“Busted!” Another one says. 

“Well, her father confessed. A bit of bravado.” Hux states. “He should kill them all.”

“And Sir, he does, except for the Erso man. He must still need him.” Captain Phasma says.

“Little girl is trying rescue Daddy.” Mitaka says.

“Rebel alliance looks pissed, but here comes the x-wings.” A pilot in the back says.

“Explosions!!!” Some stormtroopers yell in the back.

“What have I told you! You will not get excited by explosions when you yourselves are in them. Have some dignity.” Captain Phasma says.

“Is her Dad dead?” Mitaka says.

“Awww it's a family reunion.” Hux says with a sneer.

Mitaka starts crying. Kylo Ren elbows him.

“Ow, what was that about?” Mitaka says.

“Giving you something to cry about, Lieutenant.” Kylo Ren says.

“Disobeyed orders?” Hux said in rage.

“Might as well be a stormtrooper? I take offense to that!” Captain Phasma says.

“What side are you on, Hux and Phasma?” Kylo Ren asks with a graveled laugh.

“Now! What is this planet, and what a magnificent building!” Kylo Ren asks.

“Bacta tank. They even had them back then!” Mitaka says.

Kylo Ren elbows him.

“Really Mitaka, modern medicine has been a round for a while through out the galaxy. Sometimes I really wonder about you?” Hux states.

“Who is in the bacta tank? Must be someone important.” Kylo Ren asks. “Gra....Vader? Darth Vader could that really be you?” Ren holds back the tears of joy.

“Krennic looks almost scared. Terrible officer.” Hux states. 

“It is! Oh it is!” Kylo Ren says.

“Calm down, Ren.” Hux says. “Calm down, the rest of us are watching.”

“Look how majestic he walks down that incline. With must authority and grace.” Kylo Ren says.

“I think Krennic is going to soil himself, Sir.” Phasma says.

“What's he doing?” Mitaka asks. “He appears to be, choking, Sir.”

“Want me to show you?” Kylo Ren answers? “Seriously, I can show you how it's done.”

“Weak man.” Hux says with a sneer.

Mitaka rubs his neck. “No thank you, Sir.”

“Oh it's that rebel scum Senator again. Mon Mothma and one of those disgusting Mon Calamari.” Hux says almost spitting.

“Who is that old man. He looks too old to be in the military.” Captain Phasma asks.

“Phasma, you have to remember that many in the Rebel Alliance were all Clone Wars veterans. If you see the lowsome Resistance, you may find a great many very old people as well. They scraped the dregs and used what they could. We in the First Order are fortunate to have a lot of young talent in our organization.” Hux replies.

“General Jan Dodonna.” Kylo Ren says.

“How do you know that? Oh, your precious 'New Republic' upbringing. I am sure there is a school or something dedicated to him somewhere. We should destroy it.” Hux states.

“Those fools don't even believe that the Death Star existed at this point!” Captain Phasma says. “Some intelligence they had.”

“Well, Sir, that spy knew and some of them believe it.” Mitaka said meekly.

“Give him an elbow, Ren.” Captain Phasma insisted.

“No.” Said Ren. 

Mitaka sat there stunned in disbelief. 

“Why not, Ren?” Hux asks.

“Because you want me to, Hux.” Ren says.

“There's that 'Hope' again. Pitiful.” Hux rolls his eyes.

“Some of them do appear to be giving up, Sir.” Captain Phasma states.

“Oh come on, you know how this turns out.” Kylo Ren says with annoyance. “Of course, they won't give up.”

“Well, it looks like they have, Ren” Hux says with a spitting tone.

“How did they get the plans then? How?” Mitaka asks.

“Oh look, they are collecting all the dregs.” Hux says. “We can watch them all die.”

“They are all going to cram inside that little ship!” A pilot in the back shouts.

Shhhhhhh everyone upfront chants.

“Ha ha. The droid is helping as well. Cassian told him he had to, so funny.” Kylo Ren says.

“We can get you a droid, Ren. I keep telling you that.” Hux says then under his breath he says “I bet he destroys him with his lightsaber.”

“What was that, Hux? I don't need a droid.” Kylo Ren answers.

“Are they flirting? Tell me that's not flirting? I don't want any more of that sappy romantic nonsense.” Hux says.

“They sure are craming in that little ship. I bet it smelled bad.” A pilot in the back says. 

“They are gonna get in trouble....” Another pilot says.

“Oh this must be how they got their little name.” Captain Phasma said. “Foolish Rebels, couldn't tell when they were being fooled, even by their own troops.”

“Oh that guy is going back to Alderaan. Good luck with that.” Hux says.

Kylo Ren just sighs. 

“And he has a Jedi friend? I thought they were wiped out at this point?” Hux said.

“I think he means Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hux. Remember him from the other holo? He survived up to this point at least. Haven't you been paying attention?” Ren spits at him.

“Oh, it figures you would know that, REN. Ren with his fancy New Republic education and his Jedi training.” Hux says. “Who is he sending? Someone he trusts with his life. He should trust no one. And he dies on that planet. Fool.” 

Kylo Ren thinks to himself 'did he say her? It can't be' shakes it from his head.

“How does that lying even work? The Empire must be on to them? False codes? No wonder they lost.” Captain Phasma notes.

“Aww her little necklace.” Mitaka says.

Kylo Ren elbows him. Mitaka stands up. “Please, Sir, may I take another seat?”

Hux looks him up and down. “Sit down, Lieutenant. No you may not.”

Kylo Ren elbows him when he sits down. “I hate you, Sir.” Mitaka says to him.

Kylo Ren just turns his head in his direction then looks back to the movie.

“And they get cleared.” Hux says. “Typical. I don't want any of my staff falling for that kind of nonsense. Is that understood?”

“Surprise attack, but it looks hopeless, Sir.” Captain Phasma.

“Well, we know they found them, let us see how they do it. 'Let Ten men feel like a hundred' I do like that. Maybe I will save that for one of my inspirational speeches.” Hux says.

“I can't watch, Sir.” Captain Phasma says.

“We didn't even see them take down those stormtroopers.” One in the back says. 

“You sound disappointed, trooper.” Captain Phasma says. “I will remember that when that trooper is you.” 

“You never know when the terrorists will try to emulate their enemy. Do identity checks often!” Hux says.

“That jungle is pretty.” Says Mitaka. 

“Can we take this planet as well, Sir?” Captain Phasma asks?

“This planet was ruined. Pay attention to the holo.” Kylo Ren says.

“You sure do know a lot about Rebellion history, Sir.” Captain Phasma says.

“Phasma, don't encourage him.” Hux says.

“I sense explosions!” Stormtroopers in the back say with excitement.

“You really do need more field work back there.” Captain Phasma yells back at them.

“It's getting good.” The officers in the back state with excitement.

“Just wiped out. These troopers are pathetic.” notes Phasma.

“Tarkin seems pleased that Krennic is on Scarif. Hmmm. Tarkin is a wise man.” Hux says.

“You seem to like this Tarkin, Hux.” Kylo Ren says.

“I have studied him extensively. He was quite a great leader. His Tarkin Initiative research and weaponry, we can learn a lot from that. We are still using aspects of it to this day. A remarkable man, indeed.” Hux says.

“And he got blown to pieces.” Kylo Ren replies. “I understand he smelled bad as well.”

Hux gives him a look. “How would you know that? Oh, nevermind.”

“It looks like the Rebel Alliance is just finding out about the traitorous Rogue One squad, Sir.” Captain Phasma says. “Mon Mothma seems pleased. Fascinating. They didn't follow her orders and she is happy about it. And now the troops are following the traitors, as if they almost have a mutiny to get this done.”

“Loopholes, while frowned upon, may have helped them in this case, I have to admit.” Hux says.

“Threepio! It's you!” Kylo Ren says.

“Ren? Really?” Hux says.

“Well, I just noticed that it was similar to the same droid in the other films.” Kylo Ren says in a more calmer voice.

“And that astromech droid. Do you want a droid, Ren? We can get you a droid?” Hux says.

“Just drop it OK, HUX!” Kylo Ren says.

“Krennic is getting worried, and rightfully so. They appear to be ambushed. Surprise attack. Remember that, it's a great tactic to utilize under the right conditions.” Hux states, rubbing his chin.

“How does he do it, he's blind? Blind?” an officer in the back asks.

“He is using the Force. One does not need to see when using The Force.” Kylo Ren says.

“Seriously, Ren. You aren't going to win these officers over with your Force talk.” Hux says.

Kylo Ren lifts the podium with the Force and flies it down directly in front of Hux hovering in front of him. 

“Oh, just drop it, Ren.” Hux says annoyed.

Kylo Ren drops it on his foot.

“Owwww. Ren! Please! Enough!” Hux says.

Kylo Ren puts the podium back to where it belongs. Sits down and rubs the chin of his mask.

Hux rubs his foot and gives Ren a look.

“Seriously, Sirs, you both are like children sometimes.” Captain Phasma says with a sigh.

“Here comes the Rebel Alliance. They look so surprised.” Hux says. “Fools.”

“Pilots, pay attention to the maneuvers and the flying. You may learn something.” Captain Phasma notes.

“So they are going to try to transmit them off planet, under shields? Rich, really rich.” Hux says.

“She gave the droid a blaster!” Kylo Ren laughs.

“I could really use a trip to the beach.” Captain Phasma says. 

“That one looks a bit dangerous though, Phasma.” Hux says. 

“Oh they never will get that tape from that tower now. I mean, how? Look at these incompetent stormtroopers.” Captain Phasma says.

“All those beautiful tie fighters. Classic design.” A pilot in the back says with excitement.

“Just bouncing off that shield.” Another pilot notes.

“Awww it's her daddy's nickname for her, so sweet.” An officer in the back says. 

“Sandtrooper! Get them get them!”

“Well at least these stormtroopers can kill a droid at least. Maybe there is hope for the stormtroopers yet. How did the Empire even function with such inept stormtroopers.” Captain Phasma says. “You all back there in the stormtrooper rows. You know now why we train you so hard! I did like that droid, he was amusing, but good work on the stormtroopers in this case. Maybe all the Imperial stormtroopers get a hit on occasion.”

“Run Bodhi Run!” An officer says.

Hux looks back. “Whose side are you on?”

“Just getting caught up into the movie, Sir.” the officer says meekly.

“Death troopers now. Let's see how well they shoot.” Phasma says.

“A bit better, Phasma, they must be the best of the lot.” Hux says.

“They seriously are going to climb that thing?” An officer says.

“Krennic is pissed. A pissed off officer is an effective officer.” Hux says.

“Really now, Hux.” Ren says.

“What's the blind guy going to do? What's he saying?” An officer in the back says.

“He's walking and praying. He has faith, respect.” Kylo Ren says.

“He did it. Wow. I don't believe it. Go blind dude.” A stormtrooper says in the back. “Oh goodbye blind dude.”

“What are they doing? They got the signal through? How? How?” Hux says.

“There goes the way off planet. Goodbye Rogue One. Blind dude's buddy is going manic killing everything in his way.”

“That Erso girl is still climbing. Did that Captain die?” Hux asks

“I believe so, Sir.” Phasma answers.

“How come no one is shooting at her?” Hux says. 

“That rebel ship is going to take out that star destroyer by shoving itself into it? WHAT!” Hux says.

“Looks like Krennic caught up to her.” Phasma says.

“Where's Darth Vader? I want more Darth Vader?” Kylo Ren says.

“Shut up, Ren? This is the climax. Kriffing, Ren!” Hux says.

“Haha! Captain lived, shot Krennic.” Kylo Ren said. “And she is transmitting. Look how excited that Mon Calamari is.”

“Whose side are you on, Ren” Hux says with a sneer.“The beautiful Death Star. Take them out Tarkin! Please, no sappy kisses, oh good.” he sighs with relief.

“Down goes Krennic and the rest of the Rogue One squad.” Phasma says. 

“Haha. They jumped right into into that star destroyer!” Hux says.

“It's Vader's!!!” Kylo Ren says.

“Phasma, that could be you on the beach, only not dying.” Hux says.

“Here comes Vader to fix everything.” Kylo Ren says.

“The destructions are so beautiful from space.” Hux wipes a tear.

“Looks like those rebels got the plans.” Phasma said.

“Of course, they got the plans! We already knew that! History says they did? Or did some weird First Order propaganda tell you different?” Kylo Ren says.

“They could still die.” Hux says.

“Here he comes!” Kylo Ren gets' excited. “That breathing, that lightsaber. How glorious! He takes them out so easily! It's like a knife to bantha butter and with such grace, such wonder, such glory!. And how he stands.”

“Looks like they got away from him, Ren!” Hux says with a know it all growl.

“Oh, they won't get away, Vader will get them, just watch.” Kylo Ren wiggles in his seat, puts his chin on his hands, his elbows on his knees, he's filled with awe and glee.

“What kind of ship is that?” Phasma asks.

“Alderaanian” Kylo Ren says. And when the door opens, he thinks to himself 'oh no, not her'.

Kylo Ren starts to cry. 

“Are you crying, Ren? It sounds like you are crying?” Hux asks.

“No, I am not crying!” Kylo Ren says.

“It must have been too much for him with Vader's magnificent demonstration of power.” Hux states. 

Kylo Ren mumbles something. 

“What did he say, Mitaka?” Hux asks.

“I am not sure, but it almost sounds like, Mommy, but it could just be the blubbering, Sir.” Mitaka says.

“It wasn't. I'm not crying. It was uh..um..well.. just emotion from seeing Vader in his prime is all.”

“I never knew Vader would have such an effect on you. I guess that resistance general, that was her at the end, correct, got the plans. Well, we all knew that would happen.” Hux says. “Make sure you all clean up after yourselves, and Ren, pull yourself together. I must admit I myself got a bit emotional when I saw Vader at the end myself. Tarkin as well. Well, I want everyone after they clean up to head to your next assignments. Remember you already got your meals for the afternoon, no breaks. That is all, you are dismissed.”

“Are you ok, Sir.” Mitaka asks Kylo Ren.

“I am fine! Now Go! Lieutenant!” Kylo Ren says with authority and a sniffle.

He thinks to himself, why do we have to watch these damn holos and walks down the hall to his shuttle.

 

Thanks for reading. I plan to do at least one more like this, maybe two. Thanks for the awesome feedback! I really have been having fun with these.


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